bhaskar saikia

There is a saying I recently came across: “If you are easily provoked, you are easily controlled. Restraint is power.”

It struck me as one of those truths that is both obvious and difficult to practice. In a world that constantly prods us—through disagreements, criticism, politics, social media, and even the irritations of daily life—our reactions often become the easiest way for others to manipulate us. Anger, outrage, and impulsive words may feel like strength in the moment, but in truth, they often hand over our power.

Restraint, on the other hand, is not weakness. It is the quiet discipline of choosing not to be ruled by every spark that tries to ignite us. To pause before responding, to breathe instead of bursting, to let silence speak where words would only escalate—that is a deeper kind of strength. It is the difference between being a puppet of circumstance and being the one who holds the strings.

History and philosophy remind us of this over and over again. The Stoics spoke of controlling what lies within us and letting go of what does not. Spiritual traditions across cultures have praised patience and composure as marks of wisdom. Even in our personal lives, we know this instinctively: the calm friend who doesn’t take the bait, the leader who doesn’t lash out, the person who holds their ground without theatrics—they are the ones who command respect.

Restraint does not mean silence forever, nor does it mean suppressing every feeling. It means responding, not reacting. It means refusing to let provocation dictate your choices.

In a time when everything demands a quick reply, restraint gives us back our agency. It is a reminder that power does not always roar; sometimes it whispers. And in that whisper lies the freedom to remain unshaken, unprovoked, and in control of ourselves.