bhaskar saikia

A few years ago, I took a group of undergrad students to explore a cave as part of their excursion trip. There were 26 students in total, 20 of them girls, accompanied by their teachers—who, interestingly, had once been my own undergrad mentors.

The cave was damp and dimly lit, its passages just narrow enough to test one’s nerve. I was a little apprehensive about how the students—especially those who might be claustrophobic—would react. As expected, the very first tight junction became the moment of hesitation. A few of the girls were ready to turn back.

I encouraged them, telling them this was the only tricky part and that it would get easier afterward. The smoothness of the worn rocks helped me convince them further. They hesitated, but eventually pushed through.

Then came the second junction—narrower still, requiring a short crawl. Again, some wanted to retreat. I reminded them that going back would mean facing the first narrow junction all over again. They sighed, regrouped, and moved forward.

Finally, we reached the last hurdle: a slippery, narrow passage with a short descent. By this point, no one spoke of quitting. They advanced silently, determined. Minutes later, we emerged into the open air at the cave’s exit.

Back on the bus, I asked them to raise their hands if they had thought about quitting inside. Five hands went up. I then asked how they felt now, having completed the walk. Their faces lit up—they said it felt good, even liberating. The cave no longer seemed as scary as it had in their minds before.

I told them something I wish someone had told me earlier in life: every person has that point where you give up. It’s the moment you think you’ve had enough, the point where your mind tells you it’s safer to turn back. It might happen in a cave, at a job, in a relationship, or while chasing a dream. And often, if you give in to it once, you carry the same hesitation into the rest of your life. But when you push through, you discover the fear was smaller than you imagined, and your courage was far greater than you believed.

Sometimes that point where you give up comes disguised as reason, practicality, or even self-care. We tell ourselves it’s wise to stop, that we’re protecting ourselves. But deep down, it’s often the echo of a past hurt, a failure, or a moment when we once turned back and decided not to try again.

Here’s a smoother rewrite for that sentence:

Jordan Belfort—yes, the man whose life inspired The Wolf of Wall Street—once said, “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” More often than not, that story begins at the very point where you decide to give up.

So maybe today is a good day to ask yourself: Where in your life have you been turning back just before the other side? What would happen if, this time, you kept going?